Cheekless Kafirs

Cheekless Kafirs*
Ernest Samuel Llime - March 2009, Woodhaven

- Hey, Ali, marchaba* - let us share a good cup of coffee and celebrate.
- Marchaba, and what is it that we are celebrating?
- The cheekless kafirs are at it again - in some distant land named Ireland they are blowing each other up.
- Who are these cheekless people?
- These are people are so skinny that they have no cheeks. In the Western lands it is fashionable to be skinny and some people go to some kind of Mosque and pay money to some kind of teacher that teaches them how to be skinny. Some other people are so afraid of getting fat that every time they eat something, they have to throw it out of their bellies again.
- So are the skinny ones blowing up the fat ones?
- Oh Ali, you're so funny - do you not follow politics? These are just people of different religions.
- So if it is not the skinny people against the fat people, then some of the people on the other side must also be cheekless.
- This is just so. Not too long ago they were just blowing and shooting each other up pretty as you please. Women and children too; and then they stopped for a few years.
- O.K., so were any of them following the prophet?
- They are following one of the lesser prophets: Yssa*.
- Now I'm getting a little bit confused - which side had the ones following Yssa?
- Both sides!
- Whaa - so how can we tell the difference?
- Well we can call them Christians A & Christians B.
- You mean like in Christ? Is he the one that said that when somebody strikes you you should turn the other cheek?
- There you go Ali - I knew you were a smart boy.
- Now I get it! The cheekless ones are the ones that do not have a cheek so they cannot turn it, so it is O.K. for them to blow some of the others up.
- That's it! Not only is the coffee on me, I'm also treating you to a narggilah with the finest tobacco.
- You know Hamid, I don't think that is much cause for celebration - to me it sounds just like us and the Sunni - women and children get hurt all the time.
- But Ali, the Imam is the one who carries the prophet's teachings. We must make the Sunni understand this in any way we can.
- My sister's husband is a Sunni and they have 3 children - go celebrate by yourself - salam aleikum* Hamid.

Arabic               English
kafirs                 non-Moslems
marchaba          good morning
Yssa                  Jesus
salam aleikum   peace be with you

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